Chapter 10
A warm spice-filled breeze
swirled though the misty night air and gently swayed the tropical rain forest
that ornamented the western upper tier of Club Neopolsi. The waxing crescent of
Zarazi, one of the two Neopolsian moons, was just beginning to rise over the
Sea of Tremus and cast blue glints off the hulls of starships as they settled
onto the various docking fingers of the gargantuan robotic parking valet.
Chen strode down the royal
shuttle ramp in a well-tailored dark suit trimmed with a metallic graphite
color. His function here was as bodyguard for the empress but as there were no
weapons that would function in the thin haze of protoplasma that hung moodily
in the air of Neopolsi, Chen’s job was really more of a glorified escort. Still
if it necessitated he was well skilled at hand to hand combat. Turning back to
the hatch opening he gave her the all-clear signal and beckoned The Empress
forward. “Empress, are you sure walking into the last highly defended refuge not under your rule is a good idea?” He knew this was really
about her ego. She could have easily sent a robot or a couple dignitaries but
dramatically presenting the small alien with the ultimatum of his freedom for
his crewmembers’ lives was something the vain empress would never be able to
resist doing herself.
Tamary’s nude white legs began a
descent down the boarding ramp on tall silver stilettos. Her metallic aqua
mini-gown was framed by a huge dark green feather boa that undulated like a
deep kelp forest. Her earrings were two live rare exotic fish sealed in small
clear globes and her wide rolling hairdo was wrapped lightly in a weightless
silk scarf topped with a broad flat hat. “I'm wearing a disguise.” She said
arrogantly as she threw on a pair of oversized dark sunglasses and took a long
drag off her distant Bulimia Jean
cigarette through its elegant holder.
Tarx awkwardly navigated the
down the incline while activating his small sniffing scanner trying to
immediately get a lock on their target. Behind him the blue green robot who was
designated Turquoise Nine managed several parcels including Tarx’s new device
and The Empresses’ immense purse.
The royal shuttle was whisked
away like a toy by the colossal valet as the entourage boarded the moving
walkway and began zipping along through the moody evening mist. Before them a
colorful glow sharpened into the neon-lined club entrance banked by ancient
cycadelia trees with exotic curly fronds. Above the entrance beckoned a
gigantic purple neon “N”. The dull
roar of thousands of patrons and the jumbled notes of several different bands
began to surround them. Tamary looked over at Chen. She had not seen him in
this light before. He was dressed in actual clothing and it fit him so well!
Chen noticed Tarx was easing his
black case gingerly from the robots grasp and clutching it lovingly. “So what’s
in the box, Doc?”
“It’s
part of my personal agenda here. It doesn’t concern you.”
“Aw,
come on, Doc.”
“If you must know, I have
invented the Baryonic Atom Restructurer. I will be presenting
my invention this evening to the Neopolsian High Science Gild. It is sure to
make me the most highly regarded scientist in the universe.”
Chen suddenly let out a dramatic
exaggerated yawn. “EEEEEaaa-iii-aah-uuummm! Ah, you lost me at ‘boring
intellectual bla-di-blah, Doc.” Chen then swung a glance to Turquoise-9. “Hey
Turq, it sounds like you better arrange us some rooms for this evening. Looks
like the doc will be drowning his sorrows later and probably need a place to
sleep it off.” Chen said cockily knowing that Tarx had been rejected by the
NHSG numerous times before.
“First things first, Tarx.”
Tamary interjected, “Remember we are here for the spec. Does your sniffy little
thing there smell him yet?”
As they entered one of many
massive arched entrances to the bustling east transit balcony Tarx looked down
at his hand-held read out. The ultra sensitive machine did in fact pin point
Kanda somewhere far across the vast main dining room below. “No Empress. Nothing
yet,” he lied. “Perhaps we should split up. I’ll contact you when I get a lock
on him. This could take a while. Why don’t you go enjoy yourselves a bit in the
Southern Loungeway and let me worry about this?”
Tamary
considered for a moment. “Well I am a bit parched,” she then agreed.
The group split up. Tarx ducked
into an upward lift while Tamary and Chen stepped into a private float-O, a
sphere of energy that would whisk them down through the busy dining room.
Turquoise-9 had disappeared already and no one had even noticed.
Chapter
11
Tarx fumbled through some music
lists on his pok-oti and plugged it onto a compact amplifier as he hurried
towards the wide arched entrance to the theater. The High Science Chamber was a
huge round space with thousands of large comfortable seats lining the interior.
It was nearly filled to capacity and the atmosphere burbled with excitement as
the greatest minds from all corners of the universe anxiously awaited the
evening’s presentations. As Tarx entered he was immediately more accosted than
greeted by a trio of scientist colleagues. Professor Dern Rohndal, an immense
floating chalky blue alien, hung there lethargic and obese in a gravity defying
hover harness. Nandine Ung, an incredibly homely fishlike alien in a tight body
suit with her head filaments tied back tightly casually held an elegant clear
cocktail in one hand and a lit Bulimia Jean cigarette in the other. The renowned psychophysicist, Kik Tirsoo,
a spidery arsenaut wearing a complicated set of dark goggles that made him a
bit top heavy rounded out the trio.
Kik was definitely not Tarx’s favorite person; he’d had several
embarrassing conflicts with him on several occasions and Kik always had something
sarcastic or snide to say about Tarx’s inventions. Nandine was generally
repulsed by Tarx but she was also convinced he was responsible for the original
Fishy dildo which had an extra level of offensiveness to her species in that it
implied a crass slur. Dern had an intense and confused quiet hatred of Tarx for
little known to anyone, Tarx’s reanimated body had coincidentally originally
belonged to a late ex-lover of Dern’s.
“Tarx! Why as I live and
breathe,” exclaimed Kik loudly through the crowd of scientists flowing to their
seats.
“Kik, what a pleasure,” Tarx
forced a smile. “Nandine, Dern.” He hated them all but they all held High
Council seats and it was important to be civil to them.
“And what monumental device of
prosperity for society will you be gracing our stage with tonight?” asked Kik
sarcastically.
“Well Kik, Its nothing like the
amazing advances you’ve given to society but I think my new invention will earn
me at least a seat on the council
this time.”
“Ooh!
Smelly corpse boy think he got membership in the bag!” Nandine scoffed.
“Mmm-what
does your invention…do?” Kik inquired with over-acted curiosity.
“Ah well, it’s a molecule
rearranging energy emitter of sorts. Not to ruin the surprise but what if you
could transform, say… all the liquid in Nandine’s glass into glass like the
glass containing it?”
“Ooh,
that useful!” She quipped.
“Ok, well maybe not, but what if
the cocktail was three-hundred liters and the glass were solid gold? See where
I'm going with this?”
“Three-hundred
liter cocktail? Ya, you trying to get me drunk so I like your loser invention!”
“Now, Nandine, be nice, Dern
interrupted. “So Tarx are you saying your invention can turn vast quantities of
readily available materials into …some other possibly more valuable material?”
“Precisely!”
said Tarx with a smile.
They
all suddenly began to laugh loudly at Tarx’s claim.
“Great
going Tarx! You just destroy galactic economy!”
“Alchemy?!” Kik exclaimed loudly, “If I didn’t know better
I’d think you were human! Tarx, it’s
a human obsession to turn everything into some locally precious substance of
theirs. Why, I think it actually is gold!
…Forever obsessed with this but never seeing the big picture. Never realizing
the truth, the reality that it is best left undone,” he lectured patronizingly.
“And anyway, even if you had solved the humans’ greatest quest,” said Dern
doubtfully, “which I highly doubt, an energy ray would not even work here on
Neopolsi, you know that.”
“It’s
not a ray it’s an experimental sub-stratified quantum frequency wave,” Tarx
quietly and coldly replied.
“Mmm, yes, that’s a bunch of big
words,” Kik sneered.
“It
a bad idea! Go home loser!” Nandine scorned as they all turned and left to find
their seats.
Tarx thought of all the
rehearsal time he’d put in, the weeks of choreography, the accompanying music
score he’d written himself. The science guild used a point based ranking system
and they were heavy on presentation. He hurried to the back stage area.
Tarx could tell this was going
to be a hard sell but they would surely come around when they saw his device in
action. Kik does not know better, he
thought. I AM human! And THAT is precisely why I shall succeed! Tarx took the stage and found his mark, struck a
dramatic first position as the music began.
Chapter
12
The Club Neopolsi main dining
room was so incredibly enormous it was actually a good functioning example of
urban sprawl. Various multileveled towers populated the interior landscape, all
with open dining spaces designed to maximize the sweeping panoramic view.
Throughout the space also hung hovering platforms; floating islands of yet
still more dining areas draped with greenery and crowned with fluttering
cycadelia trees. Thousands of luminous blue personal float-Os wafted through
the misty air transporting patrons to various points. Larger orange float-Os
delivered wait staff to and from the kitchens with the most exotic and creative
culinary masterpieces in the remaining universe.
Down on the floor of the dining
room Kanda and Yzo wandered through a well groomed forest along the bank of the
Sendasun River having just departed from a gondola. All along the banks a moody
dim light filtered down romantically through a canopy of fronds and cast a
dappled violet glow upon dining couples who were very much in love. Threading
their way through the thicket of palm trees and lovers, Kanda and Yzo
eventually stepped out into a wide grotto area containing several small parties
around one larger one. Kanda noticed several celebrities at the large table.
Dining on stunning platter of multicolored mineral crystals was Dr. Torzun
Onkalo, an ancient and massive orange rukk from the planet Zorf who had once
been an important diplomatic liaison after the Great Apococlysm. To the right
Kanda could see an eerily distinguished vang. It was Talion Yngdari, the head
of Vortex Music Industries. To the right of him, Tribok Blue a well-known ex
robo-gladiator and now Talion’s personal body guard. Kanda was thrilled when he
recognized who was to the left of
Onkalo. It was Silma, the bizarre xetenu talk show hostess he loved watching on
late night Hucoti sub-channel 1164. She was truly a queen of off-beat humor and
it seemed like she had a fairly large following at least among insomniacs. But
recently she had mysteriously disappeared from air waves for no apparent
reason. Silma now sparkled next to Torzun in her in a dazzling crystal-sequined
designer gown sipping a tall glass of dark green wine.
“Yzo, look, it’s Silma!”
“Who?”
“Silma! You know from late night
Hucoti. Did you ever see that episode of her show: Insane mutant insectoid
transvestite zombie vampires and the manic/depressive women who love them?”
Yzo nodded vacantly and said
“No.” for he was more interested in the amazing food whisked by to the
glamorous waiting patrons. “Kanda, lets get something to eat I'm starving!”
“Oh,
Ok, we just need to find the table…”
“Kanda! Kanda over here!” A
young voice suddenly yelled from a distant table. It was Laida Muko, a perky
female spec Kanda knew from the Galactic Gurus. She was beckoning him to come
and sit with her at the table permanently reserved for the Guru association.
“There they are. Come on,” Kanda
said as he pulled Yzo through the thrumming dining area to the large oval
table.
“Kanda!
Oh my Gords!”
“Hi
Laida. It’s good to see you again.”
“I haven’t seen you guys in forever!”
“It
was Mamfit City I think,” Kanda replied with a smile.
“Ya,”
Laida agreed. “Boyo, was that a wet
one! Is Kimi here?”
“No,
and I'm starting to wonder where she is.”
“Hey
remember when my bathing suit top popped off and you said-…”
In unison they both blurted out,
“Are you sure this is Mamfit, ‘cause those mams sure don’t fit!” They both howled with loud laughter.
Kanda then realized he was being rude in not introducing his two acquaintances.
“Ah,
Laida this is my friend Yzo.”
“Oh
I'm sorry, what was I thinking? I thought you were Tardo!”
“Laida,”
Kanda began, baffled by her mistake, “Tardo is speccan like us, not-…”
“It’s so nice to meet you
Laida,” interrupted Yzo. “May we join you? We’re really starving!”
“Well of course! Here check out
the menu,” Laida said as she handed him the flat book-like Hucoti device.
Yzo opened the menu and from
between the covers emerged a glowing holographic waiter who began whisking him
through a myriad of visual culinary choices. There was nearly everything that
any life form in the universe could want but Yzo went right to the sandwich
section and there under cheese, exotic
was exactly what he desired. “I would like a grilled loctagrine sandwich on a
plankanack with extra dola and hold the mayo, please,” he told the hand-held
holographic waiter. A rather
embarrassing disclaimer flashed up from the menu regarding the meal he had
chosen but Yzo quickly clapped the device shut to avoid making a spectacle.
The important thing that the
menu wanted Yzo to know about loctagrine is that it is a five dimensional edible food item. While most beings only perceive in
three dimensions plus the forth dimension of time, a five dimensional object
appears to bizarrely morph and change randomly as it intersects our limited
four dimensional confines. It is but a glimpse of a much larger and amazing
object. A creature capable of perceiving five dimensions would plainly perceive
the small slice of loctagrine as taking up most of the dining room with a
multitude of colors and consistencies and snaking off out into the upper spiral
arm of the G-sector phasing harmlessly through several million other similar
objects before it ended abruptly at a hundred or so miles across. This however
would simply not amaze them at all and they might brush it aside like so much
garnish on their plate. The effect on a three/four dimensional palate was that
of a symphony of changing flavors and textures that if
sliced and toasted right would
seem utterly orgasmic. Digesting it was usually the real trick, but Yzo
knew all this and was well aware of the risks.
“Kanda guess what!” Laida held
up her well-manicured paw to show him the flashy spiral-cut gemstone.
Kanda’s
jaw dropped. “Donald finally proposed!”
“Yes!!!”
she squealed.”
“So
you’ll be Laida Lottomen, now. That’s
great!”
“Yes
I will!” Laida giggled. “Oh, well, if nothing else, it’s accurate!”
“Oh my gords, I'm so happy for
you.” Kanda said as he gave her a big hug. Little did he know that this simple
innocent action would later cause a huge irritating conflict.
Suddenly a float-O dropped down
from far above and lightly landed to dispense two short rodent-like beings.
Professor Hiram Nooter and Dr. Severin Vonek, both scientists from the
Neopolsian High Science Guild were laughing hysterically. They had not stayed
for Tarx’s full presentation but were now recounting all the many terrible
inventions he had submitted in the past. One of the more ironically misguided
that had amused them so was the excrement-cloaking dietary supplement which had
allowed people and their pets to leave invisible turds anywhere they liked.
“Oh
Hello, Kanda! How are you?” Vonek smiled a bright sharp-toothed grin.
“Dr. Vonek! Fine, thank you. So
good to see you again.” He then added, “Hello Hiram,” beaming a warm smile to
his old friend.
Laida jumped up to assist the aging professor. She steadied
his arm as Nooter regained his balance from the disorienting energy bubble
ride. “Professor, look who’s joining us for dinner!”
“Oh thank you Laida, my
dear.” Nooter was delighted
to see Kanda. He and Kanda’s Grandfather had been very close. “Well if it isn’t
the most courageous young spec I know and his lovely wife!”
Gordo! Kanda thought, what is with everyone tonight? That made twice that Yzo had been mistaken for someone
else. He knew Professor Nooter was getting old but he did not think that
senility had set in just yet. He must be joking. “OH, ho, ho, Professor,” Kanda laughed. “No, I'm sure
you’re wondering where Kimi is, and so am at this point, but this is my friend Yzo.” Kanda then turned to Yzo
and said, “Yzo, may I introduce the brilliant Professor Hiram Nooter and his
esteemed partner, Dr. Severin Vonek, co-founders of the Galactic Guru’s.”
Nooter was a dark brown furry
whiskery sort of rodent-like being graying around the temples, while Vonek was
more of a toothy wide-faced type rodent-like being and seemed slightly younger.
They all cordially greeted each other and then sat down about the table.
Professor Nooter took a look
around the dining area and spotted the loud flashy superstars at the large
table next to them. “I see Onkalo is showing off his trophy wife tonight. Its
amazing the caliber of floozy six life-time achievement awards will get you
these days.”
“Don’t mind Hiram he’s just
jealous because he’s only got two life-time achievement awards.” justified
Vonek. “Hiram, I keep telling you,
Torzun is six-hundred-and-fifty-two years older than you. He’s just had more
time to get things done.”
“He
won an award for a fizzy soft drink. A soft drink!” Hiram repeated emphatically.
“So tell us Kanda,” said Dr.
Vonek to quickly change the subject, “how was your mission to the Jinex
system?”
“Not too great. I was separated
from my crew when a clitorsa turned on me and smashed my vehicle.”
“Good
Gordo! You could have been killed!” cried Nooter.
“Oh my, Kanda!” blurted out Laida.
“Was
anyone hurt?” asked Vonek.
“No, I don’t think so. But I
haven’t seen Keem or Tard since and they haven’t answered my calls.”
“What
in Dia Sennog were you doing anywhere near a clit monster?” asked Nooter.
“Ah, well, you know the first
tenet of the Gurus. Protect and defend the rights of all creatures. She was in distress. I was freeing her from what first
appeared to be poachers. I later discovered it was The Empress herself who was
trying to capture the beast, but I guess she opted for me instead.”
“The Empress Tamary? Hmm. She’s
not usually a problem. We have agents in place that keep her occupied,” said
Vonek. “Were the others captured too?”
“I don’t know. Things got a bit
confusing. It’s a possibility; they may have come looking for me.”
“Ugh.. Well, here. Let me put a
call into our people to see if they know anything,” Vonek said as he pulled out
his personal poc-oti. The two halves of the small chunky disk popped apart with
only a glowing volume of light; a mini holographic display/force field
connecting them. He quickly typed a message with his thumbs on the lower half
then clapped the device shut. “They’ll get back to me soon, don’t worry. Why
don’t you and your friend join us for a nightcap in our suite later? We should
have a response by then.”
“I’ll have the plamonge!” Nooter
suddenly exclaimed as he addressed the small waiter projection in his menu.
The warm up band finished its
set of light-tech eclectic funk appetizer music and the tables closer to the
stage managed to spill out a half-hearted wave of applause mostly out of
politeness. The exception was the umbraphone player’s family at the stage edge
who gushed out a spectacle of cheers and pride in a shrill cackling dialect.
“Ladies, gentlemen, medelmin,
gouhforahs and folites of all possible gender configurations,” a commanding
friendly voice came over the sound system and a spot light pin-pointed a tall
tuxedoed rhododezhoot as he entered from the wings, his thick green tail
swinging out seductively as he walked.
“The fabulous Club Neopolsi welcomes you to the romantic Pavla Grotto
Lounge!” There was jubilant applause. “I'm Skel Tontek; I'll be your host this
evening.” The applause continued awkwardly. “Thank you, you’re all too kind.
Well in just a few moments the man you’ve all been waiting for will-…,” Skel
was momentarily distracted by a low robotic voice behind him, “ah, what was
that?” he whispered to a small dark figure just out of the spotlight.
A flat-black roadie-bot had
glided quickly up to Skel and emitted a quiet message to the tusked viridian
host, then again repeated it. “Mr. Toolshed isn’t here yet. You have to fill
time.” The bot whizzed off stage on little wheels leaving Skel Tontek with an
inconvenient problem.
“Guests I’ve just been informed
that Mr. Toolshed is having a bit
of a delay so I’ll just… take this time… to recognize some of the many, many generous people… that have made this evenings
entertainment possible…” Skel’s
rhetoric began to blather into the background as a thousand plus rather
deflated patrons, for the moment, returned to their meals and polite dinner
conversation.
“Oh, you’ve got to stop by the
kitchen and say hi to Donald! He’d love to see you again,” Laida said to Kanda
then added, “Maybe we can all go dancing later!”
“Oh sure. I’d love to see the
Donster.” But Kanda was tired and had no intention of doing anything but poking
his head in to the kitchen for a quick hello. Donald was a very successful chef
and was often a serious douche bag about letting you know just how great he
was. Still Laida had done well for herself and he was happy for her.
Yzo suddenly stood up from his
seat. “Excuse me everyone I’ll be right back, I need to find the bathroom.”
“Oh
sure I think it’s that way,” Kanda said.
Thanks.
Can you watch my satchel?”
“Sure
thing.”
Yzo disappeared into the burbling crowd
and moodily lit exotic landscaping.
Laida
leaned in close to Kanda. “He’s a doll, Kanda. Where’d you meet him?”
“It wasn’t really a very nice
place actually. But you’re right, he’s very b’loo. He totally helped me escape
from the royal warship. You know, it’s funny, I haven’t known him long but I
feel like we’re old friends.”
“Well,
that’s probably what I sensed when I mistook him for Tardo.”
“Ya,
what was with that, Laida? Yzo looks nothing like Tardo.”
“They’re
kind of similar,” Laida said contrarily.
“Tardo
is short and gray. Yzo is like six feet tall and orange.”
“Kanda,
you always exaggerate,” she giggled. “He can’t be that tall.”
“Look,
when he comes back I’ll ask-…”
Suddenly Skel Tontek’s echoing
amplified voice broke out with excitement, “Marvelous and most patient guests,
I give you Mr. Entertainment himself, Dwilgo Toolshed!”
The Band burst out in a wailing
hot rhythm and a rough haunting Dorgolian beat as Dwilgo; a dynamic and sexy
glam-rockstar alien took a running start and slid on his knees out into the
center stage spotlight. His stringy long black hair whipped across his great
bulbous gray head and his skin tight silver leather suit revealed his slim
sinewy body, a product of his sexy drug-addicted rock and roll lifestyle. A
bass goot-toot blew out the catchy signature riff and the crowd roared as Dwilgo’s
growly intoxicating voice began to wail out his new hit single, Stick It
In.
“Oh,
I love this song!” squealed Laida.
“If
you think that’s good, you should try the plamonge!” Nooter said excitedly.
